By Sheilla Cohen.
I woke up before dawn
And he was gone
Not even a goodbye kiss
Tear drops on my cheeks
Not a single good old note,
Not even a goddamn text.
But how come you are the first one to like my pictures and watch my IG stories, but
don’t even dare to call my number?
Stop acting so hard on me.
They say that is how millennials love,
I say that’s a millennial joke.
I tried to forget you, but I couldn’t numb my feelings.
I wanted to erase you from my memory, yet I saw your face over and over again.
There you were holding my hand, hearing your breath next to mine, your soft lips
gently touching mine.
That’s all I have left from you, flashbacks of a night that come to my mind
once in a while.
Maybe that’s why they keep coming back, hunting me every time,
because that’s the only way I have found to be closer to you.
But maybe I should try letting you go once in for all.
Neither of us really wants to get hurt,
but that’s all we ever do.
We keep avoiding each other,
pulling ourselves away from one another,
but we can’t fake what we feel.
So let’s stop pretending there isn’t an inexplicable connection between us.
I’m tired of playing your games, bored of trying so hard to get.
They say there is no point if there is no chase,
but why does it have to be so hard to be with someone else?
I just want to love and be loved, is that so much to ask?
They say that is millennial love,
I say that’s a millennial joke.
I thought we were going somewhere, but you said you had some place else to go.
You vanished before letting me say I love you, probably were too afraid to say it
back.
Oh boy! I did it once again.
I felt hard for the wrong guy all over again.
Maybe I was moving to fast.
Maybe you were going too slowly.
Maybe it was bad timing.
How could I ever know, now that we are not together anymore?
Is it too late?
Was it too slow?
No, you were too foolish to notice he wasn’t the one for you.
They say that’s how millennials love,
I say that’s a millennial joke.
I honestly don’t get why we stop feeling attracted to the other person once we know they are into us, it’s like we are giving mixed signals to the universe, we want a relationship but once it starts to get too intense, immediately we back off because we feel things are going really fast. Afraid to commit to others but ourselves, we keep running away from each other, numbing our feelings, because we really don’t know what to do with them. We fear not being in control of the situation. However, despite whatever we do they are beyond us. We are scared of being lonely, yet we run away when it start to get serious.
Our generation is so afraid of being in a vulnerable state that we close our hearts immediately when we start having feelings for someone else. Alcohol, drugs and casual sex helps us scape from our emotions, but eventually they will manifest in some other way. We fear commitment, because we are too afraid of being with someone for the rest of our lives, since we can’t bear choosing one person over a million other possibilities. Making a decision implies choosing one from an infinity number of other possibilities, but the truth is that we aren’t willing to loose anything, that’s why we live in a perpetual state of uncertainty. What if I didn’t make the right decision? What if he/she wasn’t the one for me?
Deep down we want the best of both worlds; we want to be in love, but also keep fooling around trying everything that’s out there in the market. We are the generation with the lowest frustration tolerance there has been, that’s why we constantly seek instant gratification, because we are used to get everything we want.
The truth is that we don’t want to be lonely, but deep down we are selfish individuals that only care to satisfy our needs and desires. We are not ready to commit because, we want an easy life with no responsibilities and no need to give explanations to anybody but ourselves. But if we keep running away from love we will end up being hopelessly lonely hunted by the only memories we share with those who we love, but are too afraid to tell them so.