By Sheilla Cohen
I long for those days when I didn’t know shame or pain, when I didn’t had to fit into anybody’s world. I used to dance carefree under the rain, not worrying about ending soaking wet but rather to sing along the rain. Back then, nothing else matter other than being there, in the moment. I had no fears or regrets, much less if someone else was staring at me from across the way. I was just living in my own little world, where there was no yesterday or tomorrow, but only today. It didn’t matter what other people thought, so I did whatever the heck I wanted, because nobody cared, at least not me. I never listened to what my mind said, much less what other people had to say. Oh, yeah! Those were the happy days, when the world seemed a peaceful place and my mind wasn’t full of shit. When I didn’t knew the pressure of success or wasn’t afraid of being a failure for anybody else, because there were no expectations to fulfill other than my own desires. Perhaps I was just being childish, living in a bubble inside my head, but how should I know what was about to come or how difficult was life going to turned out to be? If only I could go back to that age of innocence, when I was carefree and naive, didn’t worry about a thing other than what flavor of ice cream should I eat. When I had no responsibilities or obligations, only to be happy living a simple life. Reminiscing those days, during this difficult times. That feeling of joy of being alive and forget about the rest, at least for a while, but then reality hits hard and you have to face the inevitable truth, realizing that those days are long far gone and there is no chance of going back to that time ever again. So I say to myself; there is no going back baby, so don’t try to look back, there is nothing you can change at this point, what is done is done, what you once were will never be again, what you had was never really yours, cause we are only here for a while. Life is a borrowed time; a debit card with an expiration date. We are here for a reason, perhaps to pay the debt of a past life.